of Love and War
by AlchemyFreak0218
Summary: With a war waging to the west, it's only natural to want one of the best fighters and ex alchemist the country has ever seen on your side right? Being flung head first Edward is going to have a LOT to deal with. much later attempted suicide, depression, death, PTSD. Parental!RoyEd Will switch to M rated once story reaches aforementioned themes. takes place 14 years after FMAB
1. Beginning of the End

"What the fuck do you mean I've been drafted?" It's 6:03 in the morning, light barely filtering through the windows. The colorful leaves outside made for this morning to be a beautiful one. it was late fall, his favorite, but not right now. Edward is half dressed for work with his blue military pants pressed and primed, one boot on, and his white button up neatly tucked into his waistline. His hair is down, the hair tie in his left hand. In the other, a paper telling him to report for duty on the front lines, tomorrow. Glancing down at the paper in his hand then back up to the two soldiers wincing in his doorway he continued, incredulous. "I'm on Roy Mustang's black list, I'm not supposed to go to war, _ever._ " The men couldn't look him in the eye, the bearded one spoke.

"Forgive us sir, we don't like this either, but as of 9:37 p.m. last night, the black list has been terminated. As you know, Fuhrer Roy Mustang has been missing for over 7 months. For the sake of the war front, and the possibility of finding the fuhrer alive, all black list soldiers are to report for duty in no more than 24 hours." Edward grit his teeth at the mention of Mustang's disappearance. Over the years he'd grown close to the man, hell, he'd probably consider him a father figure if his pride would let him. Naturally his disappearance caused quite a stir. Hawkeye has been ever more stone cold, Havoc has been distant and smoking even more than usual, Breda and Falman have used every single connection they have to try to discover Mustang's location, and Fuery has been trying his best to be a mediator of sorts for the crew and their emotions. Edward's just been angry. He wants to strangle whoever thought it was a good idea to take a country's well beloved leader away. Not to mention take away _his friend dammit who do you think you are._

"What's going on? Who's at the door, Ed?" Ed snapped from his musing and turned around, both happy and tense about finding his wife standing there. She was half asleep still, wearing his tank top and some baggy shorts, holding a brimming cup of coffee. Ed sighed and put the paper down, tying his hair back as he spoke.

"There's kinda a big problem, Win. They plan on sending me off to the war in 24 hours because the black list has been removed "For the sake of the war effort"." He wasn't going to lie to her, or even sugar coat it for her. He had promised her years ago to tell her everything he could about his journey, and ever since he has tried his best to tell her everything he feels she can handle. Usually she appreciates it, now is not one of those times.

"What?!" She glares death at the poor men in her doorway and they begin to feel like this is their end. "That's ridiculous! You shouldn't have to, just say no!"

"I'll be court marshaled and sentenced to a minimum of 8 years in prison." He picks up the paper again facing halfway to either party, "And don't shoot the messenger Win, they don't deserve that." She spluttered for a moment before her brow knitted together and it sunk in.

"So...you have to then, don't you." It was more of a statement of fact than a question, she hopped up and sat down on the counter, putting her coffee aside. She looked defeated, unready to let her husband go head first into a raging war zone, but then again who is? Edward nodded, not looking at her knowing the expression on her face would kill him, instead focusing on the paper. He's read it at least a dozen times but he rereads it anyways.

"There's a chance Mustang is on the battlefield. No one has even considered the possibility that the safest place to hold a hostage is on the other side of a war zone. I bet if we tried, we could make it to the other side and take him back. If he's not there, we could still end the war that way." He finally stopped burning a hole in the paper and looked up at the men, who flinched. " _Fine._ But i'm not doing this for the country, or hell even for the possibility of being court marshaled. I'm going so I can find the fuhrer and stop this damned war. Te,l the council I'll be there." The men saluted and swiftly turned on their heel, Edward closing the door in their wake. He took a deep breath and set the paper on the counter before looking at Winry. She felt completely and utterly heart broken, powerless, but she and him both knew they'd follow each other through anything. That support was going to be a lifeline, he could feel it. He placed a soft kiss to her forehead before sighing again, leaning on his hands on the counter to either side of her. "...We should tell the kids." Winry hummed, handing him a coffee mug, one she had made for him beforehand.

"We should. At least they're not small anymore, you going to war if they were too young to understand..." They both made a noise halfway between a groan and a wince, Edward standing up fully and taking a sip.

"They're almost teenagers, I think they'll understand. Hopefully." He clenched his eyes shut for a moment. "If Lizzy cries..." Winry wrapped her arms around him and kisses his temple.

"Its inevitable, she cries as easily as I do, but this isn't a small thing to cry over. Her dad is going to war, her hero, so just try to bear with it okay?" Ed hums, hugging a little tighter. He sighs into her neck before standing up straight and, using his "Dad Voice" Calls, "Eliza! James! Come down here please!"

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I haven't written in like a year. tell me how it is! I have a lot planned for this one! -AF


	2. No Need to Say Goodbye

She wouldn't let go, and it killed him.

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His little angel, 13 year old Eliza, clung to his arm and sobbed. He wanted to throw himself off a bridge for it. They along with James and Winry stood at the sending off ceremony, next stop was the train station and that's why she was crying. His bags were off to the side, he didn't pack much so one duffel bag and a small suitcase was all he had with him. Inside was various uniforms, knife sharpeners, pistol and rifle cleaners he borrowed from Riza, at least 17 pictures of wife and children, a small notebook, and a single item that made him feel nauseous. It was a box, about the size of his forearm that was plainly designed and has his initials burned into the side. He wasn't naive, coming out of his journey without taking a life was hard enough, but this was _war._ He had a sinking feeling he wouldn't be able to uphold his promise to himself and thus brought along a box. The box was for dog tags, he hoped to have enough time to take one from each person he hurt. _Stop kidding yourself Ed you're not gonna just hurt them._ It made him want to throw up but he knew it'd help in the long run, at least he thinks it will. He looks down at her, both their shoulders are hunched and he has a stone in his heart and his eyes sting, his little girl squeezed tighter and hiccuped, shaking like a leaf. He tried to sound strong but all this did was make his voice crack.

"Liz, you need to let me go if we're gonna get in the car." She sobbed louder and he had the urge to punch himself for making her cry even more. She looked up at him, gold staring into gold and managed to choke out,

"I don't wanna let go, i don't want you to go!" He bit the inside of his cheek and looked up desperately at Winry, being court marshaled was sounding better and better the more she clung to him. Winry was near tears herself but took Lizzy's arm and gently pulled her off him, the young girl just clinging to her instead. She let out a heart wrenching sound and Edward had to close him eyes and look away, at this rate all of them were going to be in tears and then nothing would get done. He just opened the car door and ushered them in, Lizzy being transferred to James, who was doing a very good impression of his father at his age. He was silent and his jaw and fists were clenched tight, if his dad didn't know better, he'd thought James was angry with him. Edward clenched the steering wheel.

"'m sorry." He mumbled, trying to ignore the sounds of sorrow he kept hearing from both his wife and daughter. If James wasn't so stubborn like his father, he'd be sobbing as well. Winry put her hand on his arm, wiping away tears and trying to stop. She'd learned over the years how her crying over him did nothing but make him feel like garbage.

"It's not your fault, Ed. The kids are just going to miss you to death and I'm worried about what this will do to you." Edward turned the corner and arched a brow.

"Do to me?" Winry nodded and wiped a few more tears, wrapping her arms around herself.

"If you end up having to...you know, it'd gonna destroy you! The likelihood of you having to do that is so high..." Edward put on a brave face and laughed, parking the car.

"I'll be fine, you'll see. In a few months i'll be right back here with Mustang in tow and then Liz and you will tackle me to the floor, James will try to act tough-" An indignant "Hey!" Came from behind them- "and then we'll all go to some huge party for mustang's return! I bet the jerk will even make fireworks with his alchemy or something!" His smile dropped the moment he looked up to find them at his destination. He looked at the clock; 2 minutes. Edward glanced at Liz, who was still crying onto James' shoulder. He whispered in Winry's ear, who nodded and he then took off his wedding ring. "Liz, sweetheart." Liz turned from her brother's shoulder and sniffled. "I want you to take good car of this okay? I don't want to lose it or get it scratched or something." He gently placed it in her hand and closed said hand around it tightly. "Don't you lose it okay? Cause i'm gonna want it back real soon." Liz looked at her hand, taking a deep breath before her face hardened.

"Yeah! You better, cause it'd gonna be in perfect condition when you get back! Imma shine it and everything." Everyone involved jumped when the train behind them whistled and blew out smoke. Everyones heart's sank and Ed quickly sunk own to hug Lizzy.

"I'll be back soon." When Liz finally let go James walked up and punched him in the arm.

"YOU BETTER COME BACK YOU GOT THAT?!" James held his breath to stop his tears and Ed shook his head.

"Promise, be good to your mom alright?" James nodded and hugged him as tight as he could and Ed felt wetness on his neck. Standing up Edward opened his arms and Winry all but threw herself at him. "I'll be okay." Winry pulled back.

"Promise me you'll come home to me Edward." Shes a crying mess but her eyes show shes dead serious. He smiles and kisses her briefly.

"I promise." The train whistles again and he grabs his bags. With a heavy heart he steps onto the train and makes it down the line to his seat. He waves to them, half hanging out the window as the train begins to roll, and doesn't stop until central is no longer in sight.


	3. New Ally

hey so i'm bad at updates on a normal basis...im gonna try to be better at that. my bad. to compensate have a really detailed chapter!

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Once Central was no longer in sight and all around him was green farmland Edward dropped his waving hand and sighed, closed the window and slowly sat down. The sounds of the train's wheels on the tracks and roaring wind muffled to a murmur easy to ignore. He unbuttoned his uniform jacket and shirt slightly to be more comfortable and took off his hat, setting it on the table in front of him. Besides the hat, the table had a complimentary blueberry muffin and coffee with a few creamers and a small container of sugar on the side. He sniffed the muffin and confirmed it was fresh and still warm. There was a note that read "thank you for your service!" underneath the cup in pretty blue cursive handwriting. He assumed the waitress wrote it and had brought in the items while he was hanging out the window. He gingerly grabbed the muffin as to not squish it, and took a big bite and leaned back, attempting to soothe his ragged nerves. He tried to play it off to Win and the kids but good fucking god was he scared shitless, he could even feel himself shaking a touch. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the soft music playing overhead. It was too quiet to distinguish the vocals, but the instrumental sounded like an upbeat jazz number, complete with a saxophone. Normally such music would make him happy and bounce his feet, but at the moment it seemed ill placed, and further made the whole situation surreal. Unable to shake the feeling he huffed and sat up, taking another bite. The muffin, at least, was tasty and much appreciated. He thought of what could relax him further and vaguely wanted a bourbon on the rocks, but he decided drowning his sorrows would be the opposite of a good idea and instead reached for the coffee. He spooned two helpings of sugar into the otherwise black coffee and took a sip, letting the warmth relax him a tiny bit. He stopped for a moment and then added another spoonful, Winry wasn't here to control his sugar intake and he always had a sweet tooth. He thought about his situation, and what it means for him. He tried to wrap his head around the thought that he was eventually going to have to kill someone. He swallowed heavily and pinched his nose. He's not ready for that, he'd _never_ be ready for that. But it was his reality, people don't go into a war and come out with their hands clean, it just doesn't happen. He wonders what that'd do to him. How he'd react to murdering someone. In the name of his country or not, it's still murder, just legal and heroic murder. He scoffed bitterly and swirled the spoon in his cup. He thought of Liz and James, whether they'd still think of him as their hero, or would they turn away. He began to feel sick so he quickly switched topics and instead thought of Mustang. He picked up his coffee and watched it swirl. What was he going through right now? Were they torturing him? Was he...dead? He shook his head, he's not allowed to think that way, he's not dead. Mustang can't be killed that easily. It's not rainy season in Drachma. He set the coffee down just in time for someone to say hello and shake him from his thoughts, causing the muffin to hop from his hand. He did a little dance number to retrieve the muffin before it fell, succeeded, and looked annoyed at the offender. It was another man in a uniform and he waved apologetically. He was tanner than Edward, had green eyes, and ashy brown hair sweeping above his right eye, gray hair sneaking in around his temples.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare ya, you just looked nervous and I was seeing if some company would help. I'm scared too ha ha!" He smiled wide and Edward couldn't help but chuckle and offer him the opposing seat. He sat down and stretched his arms up briefly before leaning forward, the smile never leaving his face. "I think I know you, or know of you rather ha. You're Edward Elric right?" Edward nodded through another huge bite, causing the man to snort. "Yep that's what I thought! Nice to meetcha Edward, my name's Chatwin, you can call me Chat if it's easier. I can't believe they even pulled _you_ into this hellhole situation! I mean you saved the entire country and what thanks do ya get? Being shipped off to war! Ridiculous." Chatwin leaned back and scratched at his facial hair, a thin well groomed beard that was a mix of brown, red, and grays. Edward swallowed and nodded rolling his eyes.

"They say it's for the "war effort"." He does finger quotations and Chatwin snickers. "We have over 50 million people in the country and they just _had_ to pick _me._ It's bullshit! It doesn't matter though, I'm going and I'm going to get Mustang back." He took a sip of his coffee and Chatwin's raised his brows. Edward's shoulders stiffened, waving his other hand around. "What don't believe me? I'm gonna do it and then there'll be a huge party and everyone will be happy and I'll be _just fine."_ Edward put of a classic stubborn expression and Chatwin laughed, putting a hand to his face.

"I've heard that you're a little too confident but...you really think you're coming out of this unscathed?" Edward faltered but quickly nodded, but he noticed. Chatwin leaned back in and the smile finally fell. "No you don't. You're not stupid Edward, even I know that. You know that this war is gonna fuck all of us over don't you? This isn't a one week thing where you waltz in and immediately find the fuhrer. It's gonna take time, and during that time you're going to be fighting for your life." Edward put down his cup and gave him a serious and bleak expression, hunched over his arms on the table. "H-hey don't be like that! If you're anything like the stories we've all heard you're gonna pull through and kick this war's ass. Besides you aren't alone in this, remember? You got the entire army on your side." Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened them, sat up and gave one confident "ha" and smiled.

"Yeah, I've got this. It's gonna fucking suck, but i got this." Got this he did indeed as he spilled his coffee all over the table. He yelped and lifted his hat as Chatwin grabbed napkins and quickly patted the table down, laughing the entire time. Edward returned the laughter until he noticed something white sticking out of his hat. He reached in a pulled out a small note and a picture that could fit in his palm. The note he immediately realized was from Winry judging from the handwriting, but it also had small messy signatures from the kids. he chuckles when the one he could only assume to be James' was completely illegible. The note read: "Don't forget what you're fighting for! Come home to us all okay? Both of you!" Edward smiled at the tiny parenthesis that read "That means you too uncle Roy" in Lizzy's handwriting. He gently folds in back up and puts it on a dry spot of the table before looking at the picture. It was a Christmas family photo from just a month shy of a year ago. It had everyone, Winry, Lizzy, James, Alphonse, Mei, Mustang and Hawkeye, even Ling and lanfan. Edward was the one who took the photo but that kind of made it better for him. Everyone is smiling and wearing horrible Christmas sweaters. Liz is tugging on Mustang's sweater and he's giving her the warning glare while still smiling. It was one of his favorite photos but he couldn't find it to pack, now he knew why. He was stuck smiling like a fool at the picture until Chatwin booped his nose.

"Hey so do I get to see what's making you all doe eyed?" Edward narrowed his eyes, still smiling, and stuffed the photo into Chatwin's breast pocket just a little too hard before gently handing him the note. Chatwin grabbed both and rubbed the near his breast pocket, giving Edward the most hurt expression before he looked at the photo. He grinned wide and put a hand to the side of his face. "Awww, how adorable!" He noticed something, dropped the hand and looked to Edward. " _Uncle_ Roy? You're that close to the fuhrer?" Edward shrugged and nodded.

"We did kinda save the entire country together, stopped him from becoming a hatred filled monster, he saved my ass _several_ times I mean it's not like we didn't bond." Chatwin laughed incredulous and handed the photo and note back to Edward. Edward put them in his own breast pocket.

"Yeah I guess that's true. I guess you have a personal reason for finding him then huh." Edward scoffed and crossed his arms.

"You mean the _only_ reason? Yeah. I don't give a quarter of a fuck about the war effort or anything. He's a good leader and a better friend, so of course i'm gonna bail his ass out." Chatwin threw his head back and laughed, clapping a few times.

"I've always heard you were blunt and super vulgar it's great to see some people never change!" He quieted down and grinned brightly at Edward, lifting his hat. "Here's to hoping you never change, no matter what this war throws at you!" Edward rolled his eyes and lifted his own, grinning right back.

"Here's to hoping!"

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I don't like begging for reviews but they do help to motivate me to update faster, otherwise it'll take a while to get the motivation going. up to you! You do you my dudes. -AF


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